Xmas Cake Recipe

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by KC8PNL (The best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better.) on Friday, 08-Dec-2006 10:19:04

Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
nuts
1 bottle Vodka
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the vodka to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the vodka again.
To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar.
Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the vodka is shtill OK.

Try another cup .... just in case

Turn off the mixerer.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick fruit off floor.

Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a sdrewscriver.

Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a shit.

Check the vodka.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven and piss in the fridge.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and kick the cat. Fall into bed.

Cherry Mistmas!

Post 2 by frequency (the music man) on Friday, 08-Dec-2006 11:45:18

hahaha i heard something like this, but it was rum instead of vodka. nice

Post 3 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Friday, 08-Dec-2006 11:53:44

rofl Scott. Very funny.

Post 4 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Friday, 08-Dec-2006 20:23:34

I've seen this before, but it's still funny.

I keep trying to follow the recipe, but find that I always have a headache the next day.

Bob

Post 5 by jmbauer (Technology's great until it stops working.) on Friday, 08-Dec-2006 22:33:15

man! That pissin' in the fridge screws me up every time!

Now, somebody, where's the god damn Ibuprofen?

Post 6 by OrangeDolphinSpirit (Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?) on Monday, 11-Dec-2006 10:18:38

What happened to the flour?

Post 7 by Twinklestar09 (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Monday, 11-Dec-2006 10:28:53

*laughing* I liked that one as well. *smile*